We are down to the last two. I would be a liar if I said these are not really kicking my ass. Usually walking into Day Care is a pleasure - the nurses are all smiling and I am pretty mentally prepared. But this time, I just didn't feel good. I felt heavy. Mom was … Continue reading Chemotherapy Number 11
Cancer
The Dark Cloud
My therapist walked me through the circles of mental well-being and stability. Cancer shakes you to your core. How long it takes for you to get to your core varies person to person. For me, it was the Monday before my 11th chemo. I spent the morning with my boyfriend, took my car to get … Continue reading The Dark Cloud
The Worst Symptom of All
When I initially got diagnosed with Hodgkins, I immediately when into research mode. Ok, interwebs...tell me everything I need to prepare for these next months. I combed through every symptom and possibility. I knew what a good PET scan looked like before I ever got one. I have some issues with being in control and … Continue reading The Worst Symptom of All
The Days After Chemo Treatment 10 – The Symptoms
The usual symptoms persist: Fatigue Gas Feeling flushed More fatigue The tight chest That being said, this time we have some new symptoms to add to the pile of fun: Hemorrhoids - yep, that's right. As if the the gas wasn't enough, let us throw in painful shits. Never in my entire life would I … Continue reading The Days After Chemo Treatment 10 – The Symptoms
Chemotherapy Treatment Number Ten
I can't believe that I am finished with my fourth round. Only one more round (two sessions) left. One month is nothing but feels like forever. When I visualize the road, it gets more narrow, like I am Alice looking through the looking glass. There is no way I can fit and yet, the chemo … Continue reading Chemotherapy Treatment Number Ten
The Days After Chemo Number 9
I have been putting off writing this one because the days after chemo have been a rollercoaster of emotions and feelings. As I indicated about this chemo, my mind wasn't in the right place for the beginning of round number 5. I am just done. I am done feeling ill. I am done feeling tired. … Continue reading The Days After Chemo Number 9
Chemotherapy Treatment Number 9
Only four more. That's what I keep telling myself and what my people keep celebrating. To the outside world, four more sounds like nothing. But to me, the person going through it, four more is the worst. I am just done with this. And this treatment was probably the worst of the lot. Not because … Continue reading Chemotherapy Treatment Number 9
One shot, Two Shots, Three Shots, Floor
Apparently alcohol and Neupogen are the exact same. When one too many accumulate in your system, you end up on the floor over a toilet or curled in a ball in pain. My white cells have been obstinate lately. I have been hitting below 1000 for several days and the doctor has been worried that … Continue reading One shot, Two Shots, Three Shots, Floor
The Days After Chemo Number 8
Chemo was postponed. Which means that recovery was postponed. A Poem Saturday I was tired. Sunday I was ok. Monday I was stubborn. Tuesday I worked all day. Saturday was spent on the couch watching hours of The Good Wife. At least I had recovered from the day of actual chemo. I was able to … Continue reading The Days After Chemo Number 8
Chemotherapy Treatment Number Eight
It may have been postponed by a day, but my chemo Amazons at school rallied. Carla came to pick Mom and I up around 8:15. She couldn't stay the whole time because of classes, but the fact that she came and people were willing to cover her first class means the world to me and … Continue reading Chemotherapy Treatment Number Eight
Teach Abroad Coyle 